I am queer. I am Jewish. I am non-binary. I am a survivor. I am neurodivergent. I am a sex worker. I am afraid.
I am also someone who has, all my life, been afraid of the kind of man who would support a candidate like Trump.
That seems like a disconnect. Rich white men are the basis of my business. And all of the men that I have met in this industry over the years, from all races and ethnicities, have been men I've been happy and even proud to call my Lovers. But that doesn't change the reality of being queer and Jewish and disabled and non-binary (Shalom is the place where I get to express and explore my feminal side. But that is only half of who I am) person living this reality. Those wonderful lovers I've been so lucky to meet can't erase decades of marginalization. As much as I wish they could. They can't erase the trauma I've experienced first hand. And can't erase 3000 years of traumatic genetic memory. https://www.theguardian.com/science/2015/aug/21/study-of-holocaust-survivors-finds-trauma-passed-on-to-childrens-genes
The concept of living with trauma so ingrained in your people it's become a part of our DNA seems convoluted. Though most of this research has focused on Jewish people, we are not the only people who have experienced centuries of discrimination so I have trouble believing this is something that only affects Jewish folks. Its taken me some time to acknowledge that it is a reality of my existence. But if you've experienced trauma first hand you might be able to understand how it could alter your DNA. It alters your brain chemistry and 'wiring' why would it not have even more lasting effects down to your very DNA?
Why am I telling you this?
Because I need you to understand how scary this new reality is to me and my peers.
A man just like Trump came to power 80 years ago and the entire world suffered. Suffered so much in fact that those related to anyone who survived (like myself and my family. Only 2 of which made it out before EVERYONE ELSE was shipped off to Warsaw and then Auschwitz) still carry that trauma. Like a yellow Star of David sewn into our DNA.
This is why I'm afraid. This is why I will be using all the resources available to me to support my Muslim, LGBTQ2SIA, disabled, Black, POC, Jewish, etc brothers and sisters. This is why I will not ever. Be seeing anyone who would support this generation's Hitler. (No. I won't be adding a 'who did you vote for' field to my contact form. But I will end an encounter without refund and make sure you are blacklisted if it comes out)
I really do feel very strongly about this. I will not be providing any positive reinforcement for anyone who thinks that the lives of marginalized, disabled, or racialized, people are less than. And that's PRECISELY what a vote for that man says. I really don't care if you disagree. The absolute undeniable truth is a vote for 'that man' is a vote for racism, islamaphobia, misogyny, ableism and hate.
I also won't be travelling to America for work at all as long as 'that man' is in office. I realize this may seem like punishment for those of you who would never have even considered voting for him. But the fact is that for me, and my history regardless of sex work, travelling to America is a risk. I risk being detained and searched and not allowed back even without an extremely hostile government. There is too much for me to risk. My name has been on 'lists' for a good 10 years. I'm just not willing to put any of us in the path of your new government.
Now that I've covered what I'm not willing to do. I'd like to share what I am willing to do. And ask you all to do somethings as well.
First, all of my extra time, energy, resources, and platform will continue to be used to support orgs like Black Lives Matter, Planned Parenthood (NON-ZIONIST)-Jewish orgs (this is a bit tricky. I will not be contributing to the Zionist war machine but will be doing all that I can for my Jewish siblings of the diaspora), as well as orgs for refugees and Muslims. Now is the time to show the world we do not stand for this hate.
I will also be continuing to assist activists working here in Canada to support sex workers. Especially as we enter this period of cultural disenfranchisement and economic instability.
Because. As sex workers, our business is not recession proof. The last few months have been hard on us. Even in Canada. American visitors are worried about their business and not feeling very sexy. This 'trickles down' to anyone here in Canada who does business in the US. It's a scary time to be a freelancer of any kind. And it's a stressful time for everyone who has business/financial ties with the US.
So. What I need to ask from you. Please get involved. Find orgs that you believe in and give any time and money you can. I will be adding a list of the specific organizations that I will be supporting in the next few days for those who would like to help. You can also check this list.
And please. Visit your favourite sex workers. Put the gifts on hold for a while and book more often or tip generously. As the lull of the holidays approaches there are many SWs out there that are starting to worry. So see that lady you've been meaning to see. Or inquiry about ways to send financial gifts. Make sure that SP who's company you crave can get presents for their kids or keep their rent paid. Don't assume that it's not needed. We spend a lot of time keeping up appearances. But that doesn't mean that even here in Toronto, we couldn't use a little bitof assistance.
I am also happy to discuss other ways that I can help if you are too scared to stay where you are. Now marriage doesn't guarantee citizenship here (not without some complications that could include forcing you to return to America) but I am perfectly willing to discuss sponsorship or any kind of assistance I may provide. For anyone without the resources I have some space. For those with the resources, my time, knowledge of this city and some of the laws, as well as my companionship when things are tough are all options available.
I will also be happy to do my best with my own platform and connections to disseminate any and all information should it become hard to get information out. As well as provide all the info I have on internet encryption and security.
Basically. I will be standing with anyone who would appreciate my contribution. I'll just be doing it from the relative privileged safety of my Canadian home.
For those of you looking for the TL:DR version:
-I'm not traveling to America while that man holds office
-I will not spend time with anyone who supports Drumpf
-My time, energy and resources are being used to the best of my ability to assist a number of local and American organizations, list to be determined
-I ask that you all do the same
-I also ask that you do whatever you can to assist your favourite SPs both in Canada and America while we all struggle through this hard time
-I am happy to do all that I can to assist anyone to afraid too stay in America and/or share your words and experiences should that become difficult.
And lastly. I ask that you all understand that this is a terrifying time for anyone who is not rich and white. Please understand that you may not understand. Please don't tell anyone they're over reacting. Please call out the hate we see everyday but do our best to ignore. Please contact the electoral college in your state. December 19th will be on us sooner than we think and there is still time to fix this. https://www.archives.gov/federal-register/electoral-college/links.html (state by state info is near the bottom of the page)
Again, thank you for taking some time to read this. And thank you to all those people out there that won't let this reality destroy us.
Love is louder.
Love trumps hate.