Let's talk about my bod!

Ok, so, I'm writing not because I truly care about some pathetic man who clearly doesn't understand anatomy, but because, as some of you know, I've been dealing with some health issues and it seems like a good time to share a bit more. As well as remind everyone out there, you don't know other people's stories. So treat everyone with the consideration each and every human on this planet deserves and, in the words of just about everyone's Gramma: if you don't have anything nice to say, get the fuck outta here, I don't care. (wait, was that just my Bubby?)

I believe how you wake up sets the tone for the day, and is the first line of defense against 'one of thooose days'. Which is why I generally don't look at my work burner until after I've had my morning latte. 

However, some days, like today, your phone and alarm go off at the same time and you don't really mean to look but you do. And now you have to go about my day with the after taste of body shaming and misogyny in your brain.

Today is my Pre-Op admin/blood work day. So much as I'd appreciate the distraction from the cancer in my uterus and the uterine-removal surgery I'm about to have. (The next 10 days are lovingly named hysterectomy-hysteria by my lovely feminist OB) this was not the kind of distraction I was hoping for.

So, after not being able to fully focus because of the stink in my head I decided that some people out there required a little boob-natomy lesson from their favourite neighbourhood difficult to fit boobie-haver.  And a little cheeky rant was the best way to wash that stink out of my brain.

For the record, every professional fitting I have ever had puts me at size 34C. Since the very first fitting. But I have a confession. I lie about my breast size!! When given the option for a letter on ad sites I almost always go for 'size B'. Because. Ignorant men shout all kinds of silly things. Because somewhere along the way many 'hobbyists' out there decided they did not have to afford sex workers the same basic human respect all people deserve. Because they don't know how bras and boobs work. So this is how bras and boobs work.

First, the number is the size, in inches, of your rib cage. Mine is 34''. The cup size is, wait for it. THE WIDTH OF THE BREAST FROM SIDE-TO-SIDE. Not at all to do with how far the breasts stick out from the rib cage. As many people seem to think. This is actually why I think asking for a cup size on forums or ad malls is pretty silly. A C-cup can look very different from one person to the next because there are as many boobie-shapes as there are boobie-havers. Oh and because most people don't know how bras and boobies work.

This leads some people to feel justified in pointing a finger and yelling 'LIAR' but I'm here to tell you, you're not. No one is, like, ever justified in doing that. 

The thing is, my body has changed over the last year. I have lost some weight, and I've also lost some muscle, especially in my pectorals, which is actually part of the anatomy that does affect, to some degree, how far the breasts 'protrude' from the chest. (Random FYI. Pushups and pullups do for the tits what squats do for the ass). So, if you feel the urge to accuse me, or someone else, of using fake photos, why not (TAKE A LOOK AT THE TATTOOS?!?!) consider the fact that there may be factors involved that have nothing to do with evil prossies trying to scam the mens, and maybe everything to do with things you of which you are not aware, or don't understand. Including the way bras and boobies work. 

Because remember, breasts are nothing more than sacks of fat that house the anatomy required to.... feed babies.... But let's stick to the sexier facts today. 

I took some photos to help demonstrate these funny fat-sacks and they're squishy, nippled, tendencies. 

Here you have a few shots without the assistance of the ubiquitous underwire. I thought since my tattoos weren't enough to prove my identity I'd include my pretty-pink mani'ed nails for consistency. 

Clockwise from the top:

 1, My breasts in a bed

2, My breasts, just chillin' on my chest

3, My breasts in a sports bra.


I'd say there are some noticeable differences but here's where those differences are really obvious.

Again, clockwise from top-left:

1, My 'nails' and the bra I'm about to put on. See? No padding. (I remove the padding because in a good bra I've got all the boobage I require)

2, That bra on me, again, trying to show the lack of padding. (Though I know a few are going 'So?! You could still have put in the padding to take the pic. I did not)

3, That's how they look topless.

4, That's how they look in a tit-friendly top. Really different right? 

Wanna know why? I'v got a secret. It'll probably leave you disillusioned and disappointed... It's nothing more than an optical illusion! Seriously! The size of a person's breasts is nothing more than lighting and angles and perception, just like the size of another piece of anatomy... and literally has nothing to do with letters. If a letter is so important to you I'd suggest heading to McDick's so you can order the exact same thing you always order off the menu. As well, in the immortal words of Bubs again, 'get the fuck outta here'. You also obviously don't understand how bras and boobies work. (that line's all me)

If you think that you are justified in messaging a complete stranger and shaming them for their body I am happy to point out how much you and good ole Jon Snow have in common because clearly. You know nothing (about how bras and boobies work!).

I want to add another side-by-pic, to be totally honest, more for me than for any of you. As my hysterectomy is only 10 days away and I'm starting to think about life after a cancer diagnosis, I feel the urge to document where I am now. As I plan on documenting my journey back to full-gymrat mode in some way though how I do that, and how much I want to share here, are things I'm not going to worry about until June.

The photo on top was taken at the beginning of 2016, before I received confirmation of my diagtnosis, hitting the gym at least 5 hours a week, not quite the tank I was in my early 20's but sufficiently muscled IMO. 

The bottom picture (apologies for the quality) was taken last week. Yes, there are differences. Yes, my breasts sag a bit more than they did last year, and my ribs are more defined, and my pants are a bit loose. But this is how I look for the time being. It's temporary. And I am ultimately, otherwise, healthy and confident. I am also. A fucking warrior. And no amount of ignorant, shameful, misogyny will change how I feel about myself. Even when there are so many men out there who seem to have nothing better to do than try and knock down working women.

I also know that this time next year I will look back at these words and images and only remember those who were here with love and support. Having gained even more confidence and contentment, in part because of those wonderful people. But also, because I didn't let the bastards, drag me down.

Love and thanks for any response but I want to say., This isn't about seeking sympathy or some kind of deep personal hurt because of the ignorance in the world. So if you feel compelled to comment please keep either of those topics out of it. 

Thank you!