To anyone who has had to deal with this, I am sorry.
It has come to this. And I hope this will be the end.
There is a woman in Toronto who has been stalking and slandering me for over 2 years now. This person and I dated for a short time, and had a terrible relationship filled with emotional abuse that I ended in April 2014 because I could not take any more of it. Because of that, I have not been able to live my life free from her harassment for over 2.5 years and it. Ends. Now.
I have only spoken vaguely about this twice before as I believed this kind of drama should not take place in such a public setting. It should not take place at all. But at least hide it? And I still refuse to actually 'out' another SP (her current lie is that I did in fact out her on Fetlife. I haven't had a Fetlife account for over 2.5 years) so I will not use her name. It is not hard to figure out who this person is.
This person has terrorized me emotionally for years, has made up lies to alienate me from the SP community in Toronto, has encouraged her clients to stalk and threaten and even assault me (The man who assaulted me goes by Andy Quest on the boards, he is dangerous. Stay away. He is on as many Bad Date Lists as possible). I still receive threatening messages from someone with a distinctly 'Quebecois' way of writing English, and I am constantly being stalked on Twitter. At least 3 different people have told me in the last 6 weeks that she messaged them out of the blue, after seeing us doing nothing more than talking on Twitter. This woman will not even let me make meaningless 'Twitter friends'. She is extremely mentally ill and is not harassing only me. This behaviour has started to be directed at others as well.
I am telling you all this for 3 reasons. The first reason is, there is no way to make her stop. The police will not help me and ignoring her only allows her to continue (We ALL need to stop telling victims to 'just ignore' their abusers. That's part of the reason why abusers continue to abuse). My life is suffering because of this very unstable person. And I am not the last person she will victimize. By not speaking up she feels like she has won. But clearly, there is no winner in this mess. And if she does not get help she will continue to spiral out of control and take other people down with her. Someone help her.
But, and this is reason number 2, please help me as well. Help me by ending any conversation that starts about me. Remind people that this community needs everybody's privacy intact or we run much greater risk than just being slandered. Please do not listen to anyone who ever brings up my name unless they also say 'We offer duos'. The only reason another SP would bring up a different SP in an encounter is to gossip. Don't. Talk. About. Other. SP's. (See the image above) Ever. And please question why someone would DM you within seconds of Tweeting @me to tell you a story. I hope that those of you who have had this experience are savvy enough to understand that behaviour is clearly not about creating a safe environment. And that their are only destructive motivations behind it.
The third and final reason I am telling you this is to apologize. This has gone on for far too long. And there are far too many people who have been sucked in. And for that I am truly sorry. I am sorry you have been lied to, I am sorry you have been put in dangerous positions (How many SP's has Andy Quest seen? Anyone of them could have been assaulted) and I am sorry that you had to waste your time today reading more of this garbage. No one should have to be pawns in some little girls drama and games. The Toronto Sex Working Community is not her personal 'Burn Book' and I am sorry she has treated it as such. We all deserve better. I. Am. Sorry.
And I'm mostly sorry that this is not ever going to end until someone gets some very long term and much needed medical help. That's the reality of mental health issues to begin with. If they don't get dealt with they get completely out of control. Well. I don't live a life that's out of my control. By sharing the truth I get a little bit more of my control back. By sharing the truth I am taking action against the emotional destruction she has left me with.
I know that this blog will only bring more attention and retaliation from this person. But this needed to be addressed. And by voicing it I can move on.
My new life, very far from her, starts in 46 days and I will not be dragging this mess behind me. The albatross, as it were, has been removed and tossed away like the rest of the baggage that one carried for no reason other than it drags us down. I have many great things ahead of me and we all should move on and never look back.
That being said, this is honestly a serious safety issue and she has targeted other women. As I said, I will not post her name publicly, but if you have been victimized, or have some more evidence of what she has been doing, or, you've had your own experiences and just need someone to talk to, please send me an email at email@example.com
I do not want other people to suffer as I have. And I might be leaving this petty and sociopathic mess behind me, but I still appreciate anything that helps me take legal action if she continues to escalate as she has been recently.
Once again, I am sorry it has come to this. Hopefully I will never have to think about this, or her, ever again.